i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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