I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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