Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
