What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
