keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
