hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
