Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Do vagina's smell?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
