just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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