cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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