So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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