I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
