You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
