Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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