decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
