Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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