know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
