Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
