Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
So much Jack, so little girl.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
