I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
