Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
