just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
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