How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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