Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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