so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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