My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
