alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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