Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
