Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
it's great music for shaving your balls
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
