you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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