i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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