Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
