Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
