Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
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