The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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