I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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