Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
