Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
