So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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