conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Boobs speak an international language.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
