somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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