bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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