Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Randomize
