Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
and you fell through a lawn chair
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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