i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
