I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
We just shotgunned beers for America
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
