shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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