Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
