You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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