I faked an abortion last night.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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