Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
